Aparigraha

This month we are looking at Aparigraha, the fifth and the last of the Yamas as we explore the moral and guiding principles of the Yoga Sutras. Aparigraha means “non-grasping” or” non-attachment.” This yama teaches us to practice moderation—taking only what we need, keeping only what serves us in the moment, and letting go if necessary.

Aparigraha is the decision to not hoard or accumulate goods motivated by greed but rather to be truly mindful in your accumulation of material stuff. This can be a tough sell in this consumer culture of ours, but when we take a hard look at why we the feel need to buy certain things, we may start to identify the reasons behind the urges… For example, the fear of not keeping up or fitting in, or, it could be an attempt to fill feelings of some other emotional inadequacy. We can get attached to material goods and find ourselves wanting more and more, and at some level thinking we are what we have. This can be an endless cycle that never really fills the void of wanting and the perpetual accumulation of material goods can become toxic to our minds and our environments. Aparigraha reminds us to practice moderation—to step back and examine the motivations of our “needs” and whether they are actually “wants.”

In our thoughts we can also see Aparigraha at play in our clinging or attachment to wanting things to be a certain way. Often, in yoga, I see students getting caught up in an expectation or comparison mindset of how they should be able to keep up in class—either comparing themselves to others or an ideal version of themselves. Maybe they suffered an injury and their body can no longer do a move they could do before. You can see how there is an easy tendency to cling to that old way of being, but when we get in this comparing mindset we are out of touch with how we are actually feeling and we can then cause harm to ourselves. We must let go of our attachments to who we think we are, and become who we truly are. And while it may be scary, it will also be liberating.

In considering emotions, becoming attached to a positive feeling or a positive experience is completely human—why wouldn’t we want to feel happy for as long as we can? Happiness, joy and peace are important emotions to feel, but so too is sadness, anger and loss. To experience only the good stuff is to experience only part of what life has to offer. The school of life exists to allow us to experience and learn from every aspect of our being, the light and the dark, and to truly live, we must not push away the things we don’t want to feel, but allow them to happen, and know that this too shall pass. When we let the moment be what it is without either trying to cling to it, or to push it away, we can really say we’re living in that moment, allowing things to come and go, without the need to possess any of it.

The Sanskrit word ‘Parinamavada’ is the teaching that ‘everything is in a constant state of flux’. Indeed, change is the only constant thing we can expect in life. Just as the trees drop their leaves in Autumn so that they may grow new buds in Spring, we too go through changes every moment of every day. Material stuff comes and goes, our physical bodies are undergoing change every second with cells regenerating and bones rebuilding, and our thoughts and emotions shift and change continuously. The truth is, clinging to past or present moments will not bring us peace. This is the lesson of Aparigraha. If we are to awaken to the fullness of our being, we must learn to let go. When we practice moderation and non-attachment we are essentially saying we trust the flow of life, and within this, lies true freedom.

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Bramacharya: Energy Moderation

This month we look at Brahmacharya, the fourth Yama as we explore the moral and guiding principles of the Yoga Sutras. Originally, Brahmacharya was translated as celibacy, but there is a much broader interpretation of this Yama which is more relatable in this day and age. Brahmacharya can be equated to “energy moderation”. It’s about preventing the squandering on one’s energy through the misuse of the senses so that we are not urge driven.

Overstimulating environments, foods, music, movies, games, and yes, even inappropriate sexual behaviour, can all cause disturbances of the mind and emotions. If we let our senses rule our behaviour and spend too much time in overstimulating activities, it can leave us feeling wasted of energy for living a harmonious and fulfilling life. It’s good to look at your energy reserve like money in the bank—you don’t want to spend it all right away so that you have nothing left. With Brahmacharya in practice, you become a good “energy” manager.

In yoga class, I often reference Brahmacharya when I teach my students to balance their effort in the poses—to learn how to find just the right amount of effort to hold the pose without forcing or over engaging. When holding a pose it’s good to ask yourself, “What would I need to do, or stop doing, to stay in the pose for 10 minutes?” Most of the time you’ll realize you are putting too much energy into places where you don’t need it. Yoga should be replenishing to your energy, not depleting.

This is a great practice that you can apply off the mat as well, especially in tense moments like a job interview or being late in traffic. Practicing letting go of tension and reserving your energy for the moment. With time, you’ll notice that by not giving so much energy to wasteful stimulation, or body tension, you are banking your life force energy and feeling more healthy and at ease in all aspects of your life.

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Asteya

This month we look at Asteya, the third Yama, as we explore the moral and guiding principles of the Yoga Sutras. Asteya is translated as nonstealing, and the message is clear, for a more peaceful and harmonious life, don’t steal. When we read this, we might conjure up an image of a person stealing goods or money from a person or business, but much like the previous two Yamas, there is more to consider here.

There are lots of things you can steal. You can steal someone’s time when you are late, or when you misuse the time allotted to a project. I remember being assigned a group project in university where the two other group members didn’t take the assignment seriously. Either they wouldn’t show up for group worktime or they didn’t engage in the work when they were there. I ended up doing the whole project on my own, and in the end they stood by and took credit for being a part. This definitely felt like they were stealing my time.

You can also steal someone’s energy, and in some cases, steal their happiness. I think of the many clients I know who work in situations where duties and hours seem to pile up over the years. Bosses or corporate environments with ever-increasing demands and coworkers leaving because of the stress and the remaining employees left to fight for a breath from under the workload. These work environments are stealing their employees energy, and eventually their joy from doing their work.

I also think of marriages or partnerships where one person demands more than the other. In a healthy relationship where both people are of able body and mind, there is a balance—a give and take, a division of duties. However, most of us probably know a relationship where there seems to be an upset of power: one person coming across as the selfless soul doing everything, and the other person acting selfish and lazy… and in some cases controlling.

Asteya also calls for us to consider what you consume. Because everything is interconnectected, whatever you receive is taken from somewhere else. Most of us don’t stop to consider all the different levels of energy involved in what they consume. What comes to mind the most is the resistance for people to pay for quality goods. Consumerism is complex and we are often blind of the background story; however, I always like to consider the craftsman, the local farmer, or small businesses where you have a direct relationship and understanding of where the product comes from. In these instances its good to consider the time and energy this person/business has spent. And ask yourself, “Is this really who you want to “steal” a bargain from?” If you are taking something, you need to consider how to give back the appropriate energy or amount. Energetically and karmically, you create a major imbalance if you take and don’t pay back.

You might ask, why is it that some people allow their power and energy to be stolen by another? In my years of working with individuals with this tendency, it often stems from a history of feeling unworthy, sometimes from negative childhood experiences, which can be very troubling and enduring. When a person takes advantage of someone whom they are meant to take care of and love, stealing their energy and power, it’s very damaging and they will never have the space to heal and grow.

I personally love pondering the depths of this Yama. In considering how we govern our own lives in accordance to Asteya it brings me back to the importance of how a well rooted yoga practice can help us develop the skill of mindfully and objectively looking at ourselves to notice how we think and behave, and sometimes to reveal our dark selves. In all of us there are parts that we are not so proud of—maybe for some of us we have been stealing by taking advantage of someone or over consuming past our needs. When you recognize this within yourself, it is helpful to call upon the previous two Yamas—Ahimsa and Satya, and move forward with an earnest interest of truthfulness and kindness towards yourself, and positive change will occur.

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Satya

As part of my blog series on the Yamas and Niyamas, today I’m writing about Satya, the second Yama, which translates as truth (or not lying). In its practice it means being honest in our words and actions with ourselves and those around us. Living our lives in accordance with the moral standard of truthfulness is of course a good thing to do, but can be perplexingly difficult. Satya is layered and complex, but well worth the investigation.

We are confronted with Satya hundreds of times a day, and most of us choose to be mostly honest in our daily lives in our relationships, purchases, jobs—abiding by this moral standard to keeps the world civil. However, even the most truthful of us are not unfamiliar with “white lies”. Sometimes these white lies get told because they feel fleeting or insignificant. Some get told under the guise of kindness, such as telling your friend their new dress looks great when, in your opinion, it is unflattering. In some cases we deceive to make ourselves look better, such as “stretching the truth” in a job interview. If you take notice of your thoughts and actions, do you see these seemingly small deviations from the truth and then ask, “is there a cost?” Without needing to have an answer, I simply think we would benefit from taking a closer look at why we lie, and perhaps tell ourselves more… Are we doing it out of kindness, and consider the consequences of our choices beyond the immediate moment.

Truth is not always obvious; it can be concealed by a need for protection and safety, and it is not uncommon to hide the truth from ourselves. I often ask my students in class, while in a more relaxed, restful place, to look within and ask, “What is your truth?” When we slow down and connect with ourselves at a deeper layer, sometimes nuggets of truth come to the surface. In yoga, I’ve had uncomfortable truths be revealed regarding big choices in my life, such as changing careers or ending relationships. These truths were buried deep because recognizing them came with a more turbulent path, and I think it’s human nature to avoid these stresses, at least until the time is right. This tendency to protect ourselves from big upheaval in our lives is understandable, but when hidden truths do come to the surface, it’s best to take note because I’ve found you can’t stuff them back down once they are known.

Once you have named your truth, not acting on it can manifest in a myriad of ways such as digestive issues, stress, anxiety, or a variety of physical and mental ailments. Being truthful with ourselves is best served with a little bit of Ahimsa, the first Yama we explored in last month’s blog, representing kindness. The relationship between the two Yamas is nicely explained in how one might practice yoga. If, for example, you push yourself past a level you are ready for, this is being untruthful. Some people are incapable of doing certain poses due to mental trauma buried deep within and pushing past can lead to physical injury but also reveal deep-seated fears and sources of trauma. Sometimes its hard to be in the moment and be confronted by our truth in class, but when we are confronted with the inability to do a certain pose because of a disability or emotional connection to it, we serve ourselves best by acknowledging our reality honestly and kindly. There will be many truths about ourselves we don’t like in class or out of class; bringing a little self-compassion alongside the truth helps us move forward with it in a healthy way.

I reflect on how most of us are earnestly working towards betterment within ourselves and trying to live our best lives. However, when you do choose the path of untruthfulness, the dishonesty can come at a cost. You can try to reframe the lie or block it from your thoughts, but your deeper self knows, and bit by bit the body churns and wrestles with that untruth until you are physically and mentally unwell. I suppose the fact that it never goes away, but rather morphs into internal discord, is the karmic energy of it all. It’s been my experience in life that Satya, or living a life of truth, is very much at the core of well-being and peace…

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Ahimsa

Ahimsa, the first of the Yamas, translates to non-violence or non-harming, and is at first glance, obvious. It isn’t any mystery that in order to live at peace within our own conscience, and in the world, we should restrain from harming or violent behaviours. But there are more subtle layers to this Yama. Consider how we can hurt ourselves by working long hours and not taking care of our health, or how we can be violent onto ourselves in the negative, judgemental thoughts we say to ourselves many times a day. Sometimes it’s our lack of action that can be harming, such as choosing not to recycle or not following through on a promise. When considering Ahimsa in our lives we need to consider the whole picture of our actions and the impact they have both immediately and down the road.

Whenever we have a negative thought, attitude and interaction we have, we can ask ourselves how does this affect peacefulness in myself and others, and is it kind? For example, consider the rude driver who sweeps in and steals the parking space you’ve been patiently waiting for. Do you flip them the bird and shout obscenities? It’s tempting, but the spike in blood pressure, tension in your body, and the lingering feeling of agitation throughout your day, would argue otherwise. When we refrain from harming actions towards someone, it certainly brings benefit to the other person, but it karmically benefits you as well since how you treat others determines how much suffering you experience in the end. Even though the driver wasn’t kind to you, when you mirror the unkindness back, it has a ripple effect, surely to affect more negativity to you and others in your day.

This karmic relationship to Ahimsa can be even more significant when dealing with family or friends when you feel resentment towards them. Pause to consider how resentment develops from a history of negative interactions and how these past experiences are ultimately affecting your peacefulness today. This can be a tough pill to swallow when there is a lot of hurt… harbouring resentment towards another can come from a long history of really harmful behaviours, and it is within everyone’s right to say enough is enough, and I won’t be subjected to this behaviour anymore (that would be practicing Ahimsa onto yourself). However, often it is more subtle, and your feelings of resentment can come from a place of fear or vulnerability within yourself, and so you see each new interaction as a threat in some way, and sometimes it is just a threat to how your ego perceives yourself. So in practicing Ahimsa, whenever we feel that sense of resentment surfacing, we need to examine the situation for what it is in the moment. Are you resenting what is actually happening now or is your reaction based on a history of experiences that compounds the intensity? How do your negative thoughts towards that person affects your own inner peace in the moment? When you stop and examine the situation deeper and further, you can choose actions towards more kindness and peacefulness, by judging the moment for what it is now and not the past, and you are the one that will ultimately benefit in the end.

So whenever you recognize moments that take you out of your own peace and kindness, I encourage you to inquire a little deeper to the thoughts behind your thoughts, and the actions behind your actions. This will guide you on your choices and likely lead you to a more peaceful place of action. Practicing Ahimsa is sure to bring greater good to your relationships with others and all of nature, and ultimately, back around to yourself.

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The Yamas & Niyamas

Modern yoga has many influences and interpretations, but in its origins, much of yoga’s wisdom is based off the Sanskrit manual, the Yoga Sutras, written prior to 400 CE by Sage Patanjali. It offers guidelines to have an enhanced and more fulfilled life emotionally, mentally, and physically. It outlines an eightfold path for self-transformation and realization through the practice of classical yoga.

If you’ve been practicing yoga for a while you would be familiar with some aspects of the path outlined in the Sutras such as the yoga postures (asanas), breathing techniques (pranayama), and meditation. However, you might not know much about the other steps, including the Yamas and Niyamas, which are ethical and core values to live by for a more harmonious and peaceful life (with yourself and in your relationships with others and all of nature).

The Yamas and Niyamas are not so much about strict “must do’s”, but rather a set of guidelines that when practiced encourage a more virtuous, contented, and spiritual life. The Yamas are divided into five categories and are concerned with restraining behaviours which produce suffering and difficulty, and to live more ethically. The Niyamas, also divided into five categories, are lifestyle observances to encourage behaviours that lead to greater happiness and ease.

The Yamas:

  1. Ahimsa (non-harming)
  2. Satya (truthfulness)
  3. Asteya (non-stealing)
  4. Brahmacharya (energy moderation)
  5. Aparigraha (non-grasping)

The Niyamas:

  1. Saucha (self-purification)
  2. Santosha (contentment)
  3. Tapas (self discipline)
  4. Svadhyaya (self-study)
  5. Ishvara Pranidhana (self-surrender)

Online you can find many articles written on the Yamas and Niyamas since there are many ways in which we can interpret and practice these steps. Currently I’m in the process of reviewing them for my own study and I plan on sharing what I learn about each one from a practical point of view (both in class and in blogs). To get started I have a link to my first one: Ahimsa (non-violence/non-harming). If you are curious to learn more about this yoga wisdom please follow along!

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Equanimity

Perspective, space, wisdom, peace… Equanimity is  the balance in life that is born of wisdom.

Equanimity is like the secret ingredient of mindfulness, it’s the core of what mindfulness is doing for us. It’s that non-reactive quality of awareness–we are connected to what is happening in the moment without projection into the future, comparison with the past, pushing away or holding on. It’s one thing to know what’s going on in the moment as it happens, but it’s another to be aware with less bias and projection. For example, we notice our back hurts (which is helpful to know), but it’s also good to notice how are we reacting and relating to the back pain. Maybe we are filled with anticipation of an imaginary future, wondering what’s it going to feel like next week and getting concerned that this back ache is never going to go away, and how will this affect an upcoming vacation in… In this example, not only are we experiencing what’s happening in the moment but we have all that additional anticipated stress and anxiety added on top. So equanimity is about creating enough space in the moment that we notice our tendencies and get a much deeper connection to what’s happening.

Equanimity does not mean we clear ourselves of all opinion and action. Rather it is simply a way of broadening our perception such that should we decide to take some action, the action is coming from a deeper understanding. When we give space to all that we are noticing without immediately reacting, we can learn. We see layers of what’s happening: thoughts, emotions and physical reactions related to any one event and all at once. Being in this state allows us to see more clearly before we choose our response. Mindfulness is the body for understanding, and  equanimity is the heart through which we find wisdom.

Equanimity helps us be more resilient. When we experience stress from wanting things to go a certain way, you can feel the resistance of not wanting certain outcomes and the intense yearning of wanting others. Yet, so often our worries and attempts at controlling the outcomes are futile. Equanimity brings us the pause to recognize we are doing this and see the thoughts, emotions and physical responses in these moments. This is not to say it is a passive act or that we just give up. We can do our best by letting go of what we can’t control. When we accept this, we become less overwhelmed by all the related unpredictable and changing circumstances and can see and calmly focus on what we can control. Knowing when and what to let go gives us peace.

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How Has Yoga Changed Your Life?

I recently read an article asking the question, “How has yoga changed your life? I thought this to be a very good question, here’s some thoughts about what I would say…

Let me start by saying, when I first started doing yoga, I could not have ever imagined how much yoga would change my life. Over the years of practice, yoga became a platform of learning about myself through my body, and from that, all sorts of change took place. Most notably, things in my life that were no longer “serving me” began to fall away. People, things, and habits that weren’t healthy for me have fallen away with a quite a bit of ease. The more I practice the more clear the “next right step” is to me.

The process was gradual and somewhat complex…During yoga, the movements of the body and breath bring us into contact with habitual and unconscious patterns of movement, thought, and feeling. We start to learn about the ways in which the body is conditioned―we can extend our hamstring only so far, the breath is shallow and rapid, the spine is inflexible in certain motions, and so on. Soon after recognizing our physical limits, we also notice how these limits give rise to preferences―we like postures that give us pleasure, we resist postures that cause us difficulty. However, this difficulty is not just a physical limitation but what the mind does with that limitation. For example, when an uncomfortable sensation builds in the body, the mind might become impatient or irritated, thereby affecting the way we are in the posture. We can start to see the patterns arise, the way we interpret and react to the physical experiences, in this way yoga postures become invitations into the psychological and physiological webs that form the matrix of the mindbody.

Many of these conditioned responses that imprint themselves into the mindbody are related to our past experiences and memories, often dating far back into early childhood. Yet more and more, research is showing that our memories can be highly inaccurate. The human mind has an uncanny ability to subjectively filter and interpret what it is that we remember, and our stories about ourselves can become exaggerated or distorted to protect or to fulfil ourselves in some way. Regardless, this is what we weave into our belief systems and characters, despite sometimes leaving us in unproductive or unhealthy patterns of thinking and action. And when such patterns are revealed to us in the physical movements of body and breath, a yoga pose becomes a tool of awareness, a moment to see ourselves outside of conditioned response, and an opportunity for liberation.

Ultimately this process of shedding light into the hidden corners of our embodied psychology, teaches about the way we have built up armor of protection from the stories we have told ourselves to avoid discomfort or to appease others’ opinions. Once known, these patterns begin to shift and change, and sometimes fall away completely. What remains is an undivided and authentic self. Once this door of personal truth gets opened, who you want to be and what’s important to you gets louder and more conditioned. New grooves in mindbody get created and there is really no turning back.

Much of this relates to the concept in yoga known as samskaras (latent impressions of our past actions, forming habit in mind & body). If you want to dive deeper into the concept of samskaras have a look at this article: What are Samskaras and How Do they Affect Us. Breaking free from the negative samskaras cannot happen without self awareness and self-study, and yoga’s holistic processes ripen the opportunity for this to happen.

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