I Wish I’d Met Yoga in my Youth

Take a think back and try to remember your youth… what stands out in your memory?
I have lots of milestone memories, as the teen years are a very significant time, but sadly, outside some of those ‘stand-out’ memories, the general theme for my youth is a feeling of not really being at home in myself. Teen years are a naturally confusing time as there is so much change going on in the body and of one’s position in life, but my time was even more confusing with this feeling of being lost—I didn’t know who I was, what I liked, or what I wanted. I had no guiding compass and this led to many poor decisions on my part as I was easily swayed by others’ ideas and opinions. This is an experience I’m sure many of our youth can relate to today.

Fast forward to now. After many years of practicing and teaching yoga, I developed a healthier relationship with my body and mind, learned how to self regulate, manage stress and emotions, and achieve better balance in my life. Most importantly, though, yoga has given me enough self-awareness and connection that it has empowered me to know who I am and what I want so that I am able to make right decisions for myself. Sheesh! I wish I’d been introduced yoga when I was younger.

Now consider the youth of today, and the weight of pressures they are facing. We are currently living through the second year of a global pandemic, full of uncertainty, fear, and isolation. Combine this with the regular pressures of the teen years as they navigate life through a distorted lens of social media and YouTube, and the and it’s no wonder why mental health illness is on the rise in our young people. We are living in a world of overstimulation and constant busyness and we rarely have opportunity to pause, reflect, feel, and quiet the internal monologue. We are starving for connection with ourselves and there is a degrading ability to know how to do this, and our youth are especially suffering.

This is where yoga fits in, it’s a discipline that directly counteracts the ails of our disconnected lives. Yoga provides the safe setting where you get time to move your body to feel better, time for introspection, and to learn skills of how to focus and calm—it’s a refuge from the rush. There are simple practices which help calm the racing mind, regulate emotions, and reconnect to ourselves. It’s actually all very simple… it just needs to be learned and practiced. I really think it’s time we get our young people learning the wisdom of yoga and valuing the self care that they need. It’s a perfect time in their lives to develop healthy new patterns and thrive through the inevitable pressures of life.

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Aparigraha

This month we are looking at Aparigraha, the fifth and the last of the Yamas as we explore the moral and guiding principles of the Yoga Sutras. Aparigraha means “non-grasping” or” non-attachment.” This yama teaches us to practice moderation—taking only what we need, keeping only what serves us in the moment, and letting go if necessary.

Aparigraha is the decision to not hoard or accumulate goods motivated by greed but rather to be truly mindful in your accumulation of material stuff. This can be a tough sell in this consumer culture of ours, but when we take a hard look at why we the feel need to buy certain things, we may start to identify the reasons behind the urges… For example, the fear of not keeping up or fitting in, or, it could be an attempt to fill feelings of some other emotional inadequacy. We can get attached to material goods and find ourselves wanting more and more, and at some level thinking we are what we have. This can be an endless cycle that never really fills the void of wanting and the perpetual accumulation of material goods can become toxic to our minds and our environments. Aparigraha reminds us to practice moderation—to step back and examine the motivations of our “needs” and whether they are actually “wants.”

In our thoughts we can also see Aparigraha at play in our clinging or attachment to wanting things to be a certain way. Often, in yoga, I see students getting caught up in an expectation or comparison mindset of how they should be able to keep up in class—either comparing themselves to others or an ideal version of themselves. Maybe they suffered an injury and their body can no longer do a move they could do before. You can see how there is an easy tendency to cling to that old way of being, but when we get in this comparing mindset we are out of touch with how we are actually feeling and we can then cause harm to ourselves. We must let go of our attachments to who we think we are, and become who we truly are. And while it may be scary, it will also be liberating.

In considering emotions, becoming attached to a positive feeling or a positive experience is completely human—why wouldn’t we want to feel happy for as long as we can? Happiness, joy and peace are important emotions to feel, but so too is sadness, anger and loss. To experience only the good stuff is to experience only part of what life has to offer. The school of life exists to allow us to experience and learn from every aspect of our being, the light and the dark, and to truly live, we must not push away the things we don’t want to feel, but allow them to happen, and know that this too shall pass. When we let the moment be what it is without either trying to cling to it, or to push it away, we can really say we’re living in that moment, allowing things to come and go, without the need to possess any of it.

The Sanskrit word ‘Parinamavada’ is the teaching that ‘everything is in a constant state of flux’. Indeed, change is the only constant thing we can expect in life. Just as the trees drop their leaves in Autumn so that they may grow new buds in Spring, we too go through changes every moment of every day. Material stuff comes and goes, our physical bodies are undergoing change every second with cells regenerating and bones rebuilding, and our thoughts and emotions shift and change continuously. The truth is, clinging to past or present moments will not bring us peace. This is the lesson of Aparigraha. If we are to awaken to the fullness of our being, we must learn to let go. When we practice moderation and non-attachment we are essentially saying we trust the flow of life, and within this, lies true freedom.

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Bramacharya: Energy Moderation

This month we look at Brahmacharya, the fourth Yama as we explore the moral and guiding principles of the Yoga Sutras. Originally, Brahmacharya was translated as celibacy, but there is a much broader interpretation of this Yama which is more relatable in this day and age. Brahmacharya can be equated to “energy moderation”. It’s about preventing the squandering on one’s energy through the misuse of the senses so that we are not urge driven.

Overstimulating environments, foods, music, movies, games, and yes, even inappropriate sexual behaviour, can all cause disturbances of the mind and emotions. If we let our senses rule our behaviour and spend too much time in overstimulating activities, it can leave us feeling wasted of energy for living a harmonious and fulfilling life. It’s good to look at your energy reserve like money in the bank—you don’t want to spend it all right away so that you have nothing left. With Brahmacharya in practice, you become a good “energy” manager.

In yoga class, I often reference Brahmacharya when I teach my students to balance their effort in the poses—to learn how to find just the right amount of effort to hold the pose without forcing or over engaging. When holding a pose it’s good to ask yourself, “What would I need to do, or stop doing, to stay in the pose for 10 minutes?” Most of the time you’ll realize you are putting too much energy into places where you don’t need it. Yoga should be replenishing to your energy, not depleting.

This is a great practice that you can apply off the mat as well, especially in tense moments like a job interview or being late in traffic. Practicing letting go of tension and reserving your energy for the moment. With time, you’ll notice that by not giving so much energy to wasteful stimulation, or body tension, you are banking your life force energy and feeling more healthy and at ease in all aspects of your life.

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Asteya

This month we look at Asteya, the third Yama, as we explore the moral and guiding principles of the Yoga Sutras. Asteya is translated as nonstealing, and the message is clear, for a more peaceful and harmonious life, don’t steal. When we read this, we might conjure up an image of a person stealing goods or money from a person or business, but much like the previous two Yamas, there is more to consider here.

There are lots of things you can steal. You can steal someone’s time when you are late, or when you misuse the time allotted to a project. I remember being assigned a group project in university where the two other group members didn’t take the assignment seriously. Either they wouldn’t show up for group worktime or they didn’t engage in the work when they were there. I ended up doing the whole project on my own, and in the end they stood by and took credit for being a part. This definitely felt like they were stealing my time.

You can also steal someone’s energy, and in some cases, steal their happiness. I think of the many clients I know who work in situations where duties and hours seem to pile up over the years. Bosses or corporate environments with ever-increasing demands and coworkers leaving because of the stress and the remaining employees left to fight for a breath from under the workload. These work environments are stealing their employees energy, and eventually their joy from doing their work.

I also think of marriages or partnerships where one person demands more than the other. In a healthy relationship where both people are of able body and mind, there is a balance—a give and take, a division of duties. However, most of us probably know a relationship where there seems to be an upset of power: one person coming across as the selfless soul doing everything, and the other person acting selfish and lazy… and in some cases controlling.

Asteya also calls for us to consider what you consume. Because everything is interconnectected, whatever you receive is taken from somewhere else. Most of us don’t stop to consider all the different levels of energy involved in what they consume. What comes to mind the most is the resistance for people to pay for quality goods. Consumerism is complex and we are often blind of the background story; however, I always like to consider the craftsman, the local farmer, or small businesses where you have a direct relationship and understanding of where the product comes from. In these instances its good to consider the time and energy this person/business has spent. And ask yourself, “Is this really who you want to “steal” a bargain from?” If you are taking something, you need to consider how to give back the appropriate energy or amount. Energetically and karmically, you create a major imbalance if you take and don’t pay back.

You might ask, why is it that some people allow their power and energy to be stolen by another? In my years of working with individuals with this tendency, it often stems from a history of feeling unworthy, sometimes from negative childhood experiences, which can be very troubling and enduring. When a person takes advantage of someone whom they are meant to take care of and love, stealing their energy and power, it’s very damaging and they will never have the space to heal and grow.

I personally love pondering the depths of this Yama. In considering how we govern our own lives in accordance to Asteya it brings me back to the importance of how a well rooted yoga practice can help us develop the skill of mindfully and objectively looking at ourselves to notice how we think and behave, and sometimes to reveal our dark selves. In all of us there are parts that we are not so proud of—maybe for some of us we have been stealing by taking advantage of someone or over consuming past our needs. When you recognize this within yourself, it is helpful to call upon the previous two Yamas—Ahimsa and Satya, and move forward with an earnest interest of truthfulness and kindness towards yourself, and positive change will occur.

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Satya

As part of my blog series on the Yamas and Niyamas, today I’m writing about Satya, the second Yama, which translates as truth (or not lying). In its practice it means being honest in our words and actions with ourselves and those around us. Living our lives in accordance with the moral standard of truthfulness is of course a good thing to do, but can be perplexingly difficult. Satya is layered and complex, but well worth the investigation.

We are confronted with Satya hundreds of times a day, and most of us choose to be mostly honest in our daily lives in our relationships, purchases, jobs—abiding by this moral standard to keeps the world civil. However, even the most truthful of us are not unfamiliar with “white lies”. Sometimes these white lies get told because they feel fleeting or insignificant. Some get told under the guise of kindness, such as telling your friend their new dress looks great when, in your opinion, it is unflattering. In some cases we deceive to make ourselves look better, such as “stretching the truth” in a job interview. If you take notice of your thoughts and actions, do you see these seemingly small deviations from the truth and then ask, “is there a cost?” Without needing to have an answer, I simply think we would benefit from taking a closer look at why we lie, and perhaps tell ourselves more… Are we doing it out of kindness, and consider the consequences of our choices beyond the immediate moment.

Truth is not always obvious; it can be concealed by a need for protection and safety, and it is not uncommon to hide the truth from ourselves. I often ask my students in class, while in a more relaxed, restful place, to look within and ask, “What is your truth?” When we slow down and connect with ourselves at a deeper layer, sometimes nuggets of truth come to the surface. In yoga, I’ve had uncomfortable truths be revealed regarding big choices in my life, such as changing careers or ending relationships. These truths were buried deep because recognizing them came with a more turbulent path, and I think it’s human nature to avoid these stresses, at least until the time is right. This tendency to protect ourselves from big upheaval in our lives is understandable, but when hidden truths do come to the surface, it’s best to take note because I’ve found you can’t stuff them back down once they are known.

Once you have named your truth, not acting on it can manifest in a myriad of ways such as digestive issues, stress, anxiety, or a variety of physical and mental ailments. Being truthful with ourselves is best served with a little bit of Ahimsa, the first Yama we explored in last month’s blog, representing kindness. The relationship between the two Yamas is nicely explained in how one might practice yoga. If, for example, you push yourself past a level you are ready for, this is being untruthful. Some people are incapable of doing certain poses due to mental trauma buried deep within and pushing past can lead to physical injury but also reveal deep-seated fears and sources of trauma. Sometimes its hard to be in the moment and be confronted by our truth in class, but when we are confronted with the inability to do a certain pose because of a disability or emotional connection to it, we serve ourselves best by acknowledging our reality honestly and kindly. There will be many truths about ourselves we don’t like in class or out of class; bringing a little self-compassion alongside the truth helps us move forward with it in a healthy way.

I reflect on how most of us are earnestly working towards betterment within ourselves and trying to live our best lives. However, when you do choose the path of untruthfulness, the dishonesty can come at a cost. You can try to reframe the lie or block it from your thoughts, but your deeper self knows, and bit by bit the body churns and wrestles with that untruth until you are physically and mentally unwell. I suppose the fact that it never goes away, but rather morphs into internal discord, is the karmic energy of it all. It’s been my experience in life that Satya, or living a life of truth, is very much at the core of well-being and peace…

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Ahimsa

Ahimsa, the first of the Yamas, translates to non-violence or non-harming, and is at first glance, obvious. It isn’t any mystery that in order to live at peace within our own conscience, and in the world, we should restrain from harming or violent behaviours. But there are more subtle layers to this Yama. Consider how we can hurt ourselves by working long hours and not taking care of our health, or how we can be violent onto ourselves in the negative, judgemental thoughts we say to ourselves many times a day. Sometimes it’s our lack of action that can be harming, such as choosing not to recycle or not following through on a promise. When considering Ahimsa in our lives we need to consider the whole picture of our actions and the impact they have both immediately and down the road.

Whenever we have a negative thought, attitude and interaction we have, we can ask ourselves how does this affect peacefulness in myself and others, and is it kind? For example, consider the rude driver who sweeps in and steals the parking space you’ve been patiently waiting for. Do you flip them the bird and shout obscenities? It’s tempting, but the spike in blood pressure, tension in your body, and the lingering feeling of agitation throughout your day, would argue otherwise. When we refrain from harming actions towards someone, it certainly brings benefit to the other person, but it karmically benefits you as well since how you treat others determines how much suffering you experience in the end. Even though the driver wasn’t kind to you, when you mirror the unkindness back, it has a ripple effect, surely to affect more negativity to you and others in your day.

This karmic relationship to Ahimsa can be even more significant when dealing with family or friends when you feel resentment towards them. Pause to consider how resentment develops from a history of negative interactions and how these past experiences are ultimately affecting your peacefulness today. This can be a tough pill to swallow when there is a lot of hurt… harbouring resentment towards another can come from a long history of really harmful behaviours, and it is within everyone’s right to say enough is enough, and I won’t be subjected to this behaviour anymore (that would be practicing Ahimsa onto yourself). However, often it is more subtle, and your feelings of resentment can come from a place of fear or vulnerability within yourself, and so you see each new interaction as a threat in some way, and sometimes it is just a threat to how your ego perceives yourself. So in practicing Ahimsa, whenever we feel that sense of resentment surfacing, we need to examine the situation for what it is in the moment. Are you resenting what is actually happening now or is your reaction based on a history of experiences that compounds the intensity? How do your negative thoughts towards that person affects your own inner peace in the moment? When you stop and examine the situation deeper and further, you can choose actions towards more kindness and peacefulness, by judging the moment for what it is now and not the past, and you are the one that will ultimately benefit in the end.

So whenever you recognize moments that take you out of your own peace and kindness, I encourage you to inquire a little deeper to the thoughts behind your thoughts, and the actions behind your actions. This will guide you on your choices and likely lead you to a more peaceful place of action. Practicing Ahimsa is sure to bring greater good to your relationships with others and all of nature, and ultimately, back around to yourself.

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Your Yoga Practice Reflects Your Life

Have you ever heard a yoga teacher say, “How you show up on your mat is how you show up in your life?” If you think about it, our personality, characteristics, habits and belief systems don’t just disappear when we walk into a yoga class, so likely, the way you are in life, is the way you practice yoga, and depending on what habits and characteristics show up, it can helpful or hindering to your yoga progress. Acknowledging this, and taking a step back to become more aware of how your personality shows up on your mat, is a powerful point of reflection from which you can learn and grow as an individual.

Consider these questions: Are you a very determined or disciplined person? Do you get frustrated and angry very easily? Do you need to do everything perfectly? Are you usually quite hard on yourself and always push yourself – or do you not push yourself at all? Do you avoid challenges or discomfort? Do you prefer activities that are slow moving and low energy? Are you open and expressive or are you withdrawn and quiet?

These are just a few questions to get you thinking about your nature and how these characteristics affect your behaviour, preferences, and choices. Then consider how these tendencies might be showing up in your yoga practice – the style of class you choose, how you engage throughout the class, where you place your mat, and the thoughts that show up during the practice… When you begin to reflect on your patterns, it can lead to insights about how you approach and engage in life and maybe even why.

Consider this example: Sally is a high energy, physically strong person who craves challenges and likes constant stimulation. She gravitates to flow and power yoga classes with lots of movement and distraction. Sally is very motivated by extrinsic goals and competition and strives to perform poses a certain way. The teacher notices she is often over-tensing in her body and holding her breath and begins to offer her cues to provide internal reflection on these tendencies. As Sally begins to notice how her body and breath respond to her strong achieving mindset, she begins to notice connections such as feeling sore after class or over-stimulated rather than calm, and she begins to make connections about how her high-expectation thoughts for her own performance may not always benefit her improvement in yoga and overall health.

When one begins to make these connections about habits and preferences, we can use our yoga practice as a way to bring more balance into our life and begin practicing new ways of being. Because there are so many different styles of yoga and tools we can sample, it may be helpful to try the opposite of your “preferred” or “regular” style. That means slowing down and practicing gentleness if you are a go-go-go person who always pushes. Or, for those of you who are low energy and avoid new challenges, turn up the volume a bit and try crossing some boundaries.

In the case of Sally, she might choose a slow restorative or yin class, and by placing herself outside her norm, and listening to how her body and mind respond, new insights can arise. For example, she might notice feelings of impatience or agitation when staying still in longer poses or during silence. Or she might feel edgy when the poses feel too easy and there is little sensation. There is a good chance that these feelings on the mat can reveal lifelong patterns and beliefs she carries about herself and others, and with revelations such as these, she can then begin to ask herself why or where it came from. Within these questions and answers a whole universe of self-discovery can be possible.

Yoga can be a marvellous discipline from which we can learn about our habits and behaviours, and once we make these connections, and practice in a way that challenges these habits and belief systems, new patterns are eventually created. This inevitably crosses over into our daily life. Sometimes, this process happens slowly and gradually, and in other instances, it happens very quickly. Regardless, by committing to our yoga practice in this self reflective way, the result is that we are forever changed.

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Reflections on Solstice

The winter solstice marks the shortest day and longest night of the year. It is at this point in the earth’s journey around the sun that our northern hemisphere leans furthest away from the light and the sun is lowest. This year the solstice occurs on Friday December 21st, and I personally feel drawn to reflect on this day, as I can’t help but marvel in the symbolism of it. The word “solstice,” in Latin, means “sun standing still”, and in some disciplines of yoga, the sun symbolizes the soul. So in a sense, we could say the soul stands still on the solstice.

The transition into winter and these darkest days gets me thinking about nature. Nature seems to remember what we humans have forgotten… That it is a natural process to shift into stillness and inactivity when the light is low and days are cold. It is in this rest of the winter season that all life’s energy recycles. The trees and plants retreat inwards to dormancy, animals rest and hibernate, and ponds freeze and suspend in time. All this is necessary for the rebirth of life and action in the spring. It gets me wondering about the consequences of forging through the season without this rest, as we humans seem to do. I wonder if we should take more notice of this phase in nature and let it be a cue from which we also take a break from the constant doing and accomplishing. It may be, that by taking the time to rest and reflect, we gather the energy to regenerate and renew.

Everything in the universe has cycles; when a star dies it produces the material for new stars. When a plant is eaten, the energy it stored from the sun is transferred to the new body. This life and death cycle exists everywhere around and within us. Every action, emotion, cell in our body, and breath we take alternates from coming to going; existing and then not. Without this shift into void and nothingness, where endings reside, the cycle of energy cannot continue. The Winter solstice is a powerful reminder that the universe needs both light and darkness to sustain. It is out of the darkness that flowers eventually emerge, life is born, and ideas are formed and nurtured.

This year, in the days around the solstice, I plan to use it as a time of inner reflection; to look back on my year and acknowledge what I have completed and the insights and understandings I have gained. In this pause from activity, I will take time to grieve my losses and celebrate my triumphs, and contemplate what it is I need new, and what it is I need to let go of. I figure there is so much richness and integration that can be received in this transition phase if we take the time to become still with ourselves and listen. Perhaps you’ll join me in this celebration of night as a time to rest your soul and re-fuel your inner light.

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Koshas – The Layers Of Our Being

I often post about how Yoga provides us with a base from which we can explore the connection of the mind and body. When we practice postures, meditation, and pranayama (breathing) techniques we get direct information from the systems of our body and the relationships between these various systems. To better explain these experiences in yoga, ancient yogis devised models to describe what they were experiencing. One of my favourite models is that of the five Koshas, which first appeared in the Vedic Upanishads dated around 3000 years ago.

According to the Koshas model, every one of us has five bodies, otherwise known as sheaths or layers, that make up our being. You can visualize these layers like that of an onion, with five progressively subtler bodies moving from the outside in. The onion layer analogy is a good visual of how these bodies are contained within one another; however, it is important to remember that these sheaths are not separate nor isolated. Rather, they are inter-penetrating and interdependent on one another, and in order to live a fully balanced, healthy life, all these layers need to be kept in good condition. If one of them is ignored or unsatisfied, there is a lack of harmony.

Here is a description of each of the five Koshas starting from the most superficial to the deepest layer:

1. The Physical Layer
The outermost sheath, called Annamaya Kosha, is the most obvious and easily identified as it is comprised of the physical structures of your body, bones, tendons, muscles, and other dense materials. You can experience this Kosha directly. It’s your body, and you can see and feel it. This layer has structural importance as it houses all the other layers.

2. The Energy Layer
The second layer is called Pranamaya Kosha, otherwise known as the energy body, which is comprised of all the physiological processes that sustain life, from breathing to digestion to the circulation of your blood. ‘Prana’, in yoga, is understood as life-force energy, and without it, our physical body layer can’t survive more than a few minutes. Prana, which is the equivalent to Chi in eastern medicine, is that which acupuncture treatment is based. In yoga we connect to this energy layer through perceiving the breath and circulation. Energy is balanced through the breath in relationship to the body and mind.

3. The Mental/Emotional Layer
The third layer is called Manomaya Kosha. It is described as the psychological sheath, which includes the mind, feelings, and the processes that organize experience. Through the nervous system, this body processes input from our five senses and responds reflexively to the needs of the mind and body in its environment. Here we begin to truly understand the inter-dependent effects each layer has on then next. Imagine a person in a coma, their first and second sheath are still operating so their heart and lungs continue to function and their physical body is intact, but the person has no awareness of what’s happening and no ability to take action because the activity of Manomaya Kosha has shut down. Without the mental layer we are unaware of the first two.

4. The Higher Intelligence Layer
The fourth layer is known as Vijnanamaya Kosha. It is the body of intellect and wisdom, and of conscience and will. This is the layer that is assumed to separate humans and animals. It is a higher level of awareness that underlies all the reflexive mental processes of daily living. In yoga, through mindfulness and meditation, your ability to observe your own thoughts and behaviours gets enhanced and you begin to experience the events in your life from this more objective aspect of awareness. Self study and meditation lead to clarity of judgment, greater intuitive insight, and increased willpower as your Vijnanamaya Kosha grows stronger and more balanced.

5. The Spiritual or Bliss Layer
The fifth, and inner most layer is called Anandamaya Kosha. This the most subtle of the five layers which is experienced as deep contentment or bliss. For most people this sheath is underdeveloped and few are even aware that this level of consciousness exists within themselves. It is said the Anandamaya Kosha is the energetic veil bridging ordinary awareness and our higher, spiritual self. The great sages,  life-time meditators, and even those who have had near death experiences, have all described this part of  being where our true, inborn nature of peace and love reside. It connects us to all of universal existence. You come into this world with it.

Identifying these layers that comprise our being can aid us in learning more about our own personal existence and balance in life. Each of us has moments in our development that can enhance or impede connection to one or more of these layers. Take for example someone who sustains a traumatizing, physical injury. On the surface it affects the physical body, the Annamaya Kosha. Sometimes, the pain or mental suffering, experienced through the psychological layer, can create blocks to the awareness that flows to this physical part of yourself. Overtime the psychological block withers your connection not only to the physical structures, but also the physiological flowing and mental and emotional realization of this part of you. There lies a hole in our body/mind complex that requires reconnection, on multiple layers, to heal. This is one of the explanations for why physical pain can last beyond the healing of an injury.

The opposite can be true as well. Sometimes a newfound awareness into one layer can ignite wholeness and unity onto all the layers. In yoga when we shift into a mindful state, working from that deeper part of our consciousness (the Vijnanamaya Kosha), we can become aware of blocks in our mind-body complex. For example, in working with individuals through yoga therapy, I have witnessed how a gentle touch or stretch to a body part ignites awareness that this part was not registering in their bodily perception due to a past issue, such as an emotional trauma. In essence, experiencing a physical sensation, while being connected to your higher, intelligence layer, re-introduces the person to this part of themselves, and the re-established connection brings healing to all the layers.

There are many of individuals existing in their daily lives with healthy functioning outer sheaths (strong bodies and minds), but who are totally void of awareness to their inner sheaths. When one is disconnected to their Vijnanamaya and Anandamaya Koshas, its like leaving an empty whole in the center of their being… and these people can literally feel uncentered in their lives. When disconnected to the core sheaths, one can feel reactive to life and often feel unfocused and lost when considering their choices and goals. Personal growth and  spiritual practices that connect with these deeper parts of ourselves  allow us to remain fulfilled, energized and whole.

Being human is complex; as far as we know, we are the only species on earth that can experience ourselves on multidimensional planes. I liken this to the phrase, “Awareness knowing itself”, and it is through practices such as yoga that we can open this world of self study and gain better understanding of these varying layers of consciousness. The five Koshas give us a framework from which we can organize and express all these layers of our being, and in doing so, we are one step closer to enjoying the health and fulfillment of an enlightened life.

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Equanimity

Perspective, space, wisdom, peace… Equanimity is  the balance in life that is born of wisdom.

Equanimity is like the secret ingredient of mindfulness, it’s the core of what mindfulness is doing for us. It’s that non-reactive quality of awareness–we are connected to what is happening in the moment without projection into the future, comparison with the past, pushing away or holding on. It’s one thing to know what’s going on in the moment as it happens, but it’s another to be aware with less bias and projection. For example, we notice our back hurts (which is helpful to know), but it’s also good to notice how are we reacting and relating to the back pain. Maybe we are filled with anticipation of an imaginary future, wondering what’s it going to feel like next week and getting concerned that this back ache is never going to go away, and how will this affect an upcoming vacation in… In this example, not only are we experiencing what’s happening in the moment but we have all that additional anticipated stress and anxiety added on top. So equanimity is about creating enough space in the moment that we notice our tendencies and get a much deeper connection to what’s happening.

Equanimity does not mean we clear ourselves of all opinion and action. Rather it is simply a way of broadening our perception such that should we decide to take some action, the action is coming from a deeper understanding. When we give space to all that we are noticing without immediately reacting, we can learn. We see layers of what’s happening: thoughts, emotions and physical reactions related to any one event and all at once. Being in this state allows us to see more clearly before we choose our response. Mindfulness is the body for understanding, and  equanimity is the heart through which we find wisdom.

Equanimity helps us be more resilient. When we experience stress from wanting things to go a certain way, you can feel the resistance of not wanting certain outcomes and the intense yearning of wanting others. Yet, so often our worries and attempts at controlling the outcomes are futile. Equanimity brings us the pause to recognize we are doing this and see the thoughts, emotions and physical responses in these moments. This is not to say it is a passive act or that we just give up. We can do our best by letting go of what we can’t control. When we accept this, we become less overwhelmed by all the related unpredictable and changing circumstances and can see and calmly focus on what we can control. Knowing when and what to let go gives us peace.

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Nature’s Cycles Mirrored In Our Yoga

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. – Lao Tzu

Lately in class, the idea of doing small acts repeatedly as a way getting us where we want, has kept popping up. In yoga, and in many aspects of our lives, we lack patience and want immediate results ⸺“We want it all, we want it now.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started on a project (healthy eating being a great example) and felt really motivated for a short period of time in the beginning only to lose my enthusiasm very soon thereafter, and I know many others struggle with this too. The truth of the matter is, success lies in consistency over time; the commitment to regular practice day in and day out. I also know, however, that sometimes I’m not able to, or want to, show up with full effort, and I’m starting to realize how the process of achievement can be more subtle and gentle, and not always linear. Much like the cycles in nature, progression in yoga and other aspects of our lives can unfold gradually with peaks and valleys depending on our internal and external rhythms.

When you think about nature and how things typically progress and come into maturation, there are natural stages. The baby doesn’t just walk, it first spends time learning to roll, then rock, then crawl, then stand⸺all building blocks of the final destination of walking. Yet as adults we expect to we should be able to jump to the end stage, and we want results fast. We seem to be programmed to rush and hurry, and when things don’t happen fast, our minds become impatient and restless. However this way of thinking and being sets us up for failure. Mirroring the natural process, we are more apt to be successful when we proceed with smaller chunks and achieve competency in stages. I have seen some of the greatest transformations in yoga from the students who chose only two or three poses that they practiced, as opposed to big routines with complexity. These smaller elements, done regularly, often add up to much bigger results.

We can also reframe how we think progress should look. Progression in nature is rarely linear, and progress is not without rest or pause in the seasons and cycles. In some forests, natural disturbances, such as forest fires, are good example of natural breaks in the path of progression. In the boreal forests for example, forest fires release valuable nutrients stored in debris on the forest floor for new growth and allow some tree species to reproduce by opening the cones to free the seeds. This pause in the growth of the forest is essential for it’s health and balance as it matures. Looking back on my progression with yoga, it was much the same. There wasn’t intense effort all the way along. Sometimes I had strong commitment and energy for my practice, and I got a lot done during these phases. Then there were slow phases, and even breaks in the practice. Sometimes the breaks were by choice, and sometimes not – illness, injury, maternity – regardless, I always returned to my practice.  I realized that when I came back, I hadn’t lost everything ⸺ things came back quicker, and I progressed past where I was before. In reflection I noticed, sometimes after a break, there was a fierceness of practice that wouldn’t have happened without the time away.

There are natural cycles that happen within our own physiology, unique to each of us, that we would all benefit from understanding more. Mindfulness becomes our ally in navigating this internal rhythm. As I have mentioned in many previous blogs (Walk Slowly, If You Know Better, You Do Better, Yoga for the Brain), meditation and yoga help you develop the skill of shifting your perspective to become the observer of your own thoughts, feelings, and sensations in the body. When one adopts this shift in perspective you become more attuned to what is naturally unfolding within, and you can pick up on the cycles and patterns that come and go with your motivations, energy, and moods, throughout the day, months and years. You can learn for instance that when energy wanes and things slow down, it doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. Things are constantly changing, and coming and going. Sometimes when you are down and apathy takes a foothold on you, it’s hard to remember what it was like to be up and energized, and it’s easy to get caught in thinking these feelings and low energy will last forever. But this is never true. These thoughts, these emotions, they pass through us; they are not us. There are season and cycles within us to acknowledge and embrace as well.

I think it’s time we learn to be a bit more gentle with ourselves and remember that hurrying and putting heavy pressure on ourselves rarely works out in the long run, instead it sets us up for a crash. So I encourage you to stop feeling guilty for the lulls and the pauses. Pace yourself kindly, and welcome the irregularities of progress ⸺ both high and low. If you keep taking those small steps forward in harmony with seasons and cycles of your life, both inside and out, you are sure to see the reward.

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Transitions

With September so close, it gets me thinking about transitions. There’s a big change coming up in our household this September. My youngest daughter Teagan is about to start Kindergarten, and what once was a highly anticipated event, has now become one with conflicting emotion. The other morning she asked me, “Mommy, how soon before I go to school?…I’ve been waiting since I was one years old!” Then later that afternoon, she said, “Mommy, I’m sad to go to school because there will be no more mommy and Teagan days”. Within these two statements, she captured the truth of our mixed emotions—both of us having relief and excitement of it finally being here, and the sorrow of loss of her babyhood and time spent together.

Now you might be wondering what this has to do with yoga. Well, what I realized in this recent while, is how important it is to recognize transitions onto their own entity. So often we compartmentalize events. In class we go from one pose and then to the next; we experience the pose while we are in it, and then our minds leap to then next one, rarely paying attention to how we got there. However, nearly half of the class is devoted to the time spent transitioning from one pose to the next, meaning if we don’t consider these transitions, we are barely present for much of the class!

It’s not a stretch (pun intended) to see how this plays out in our lives off the mat as well. How often do you catch yourself making big plans for the future, and the time leading up to event is just time spent waiting, or just time to get through. Yet, this time that we want to just “get through” makes up many of the moments of our lives, as mundane as they can seem at times, it can be these un-special, little moments in our day that may end up being the most precious memories in the twilight of our lives.

I had big plans for new classes and exciting changes with the studio this September, but as the time neared to plan it all out and post the schedule, I found myself feeling overwhelmed and indecisive. I realized my paralysis in planning was my body’s way of informing me that there is already too much going on—I am mentally and emotionally preoccupied soaking up the remaining time in summer, spending time with my family, and preparing for this next big milestone of Teagan starting school. So rather than jumping in with “new” and “busy” with the classes, I’ve decided to rest a while in the space before the next, absorbing all that needs to be experienced and learned right now.

In the spirit of honouring transitions, I’ve also decided to devote next Thursday’s mindfulness class (Aug 31 @ 7:15 pm) to be about paying attention to our transitions between the postures and in our lives. If this intrigues you, come on out! And if I don’t see you out in the studio, as September approaches, I wonder what it would be like for you to transition mindfully in your own life?

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